The final countdown.

I would like to say sorry for not posting for a while, but i wrote a whole post a week ago and there was a powercut so i lost the whole thing and it had taken me 40 mins, I was quite pissed off...

So the mild bike crash i commented on has become a bit worse, I think i have broken my toe so I am looking forward to that, especially the x ray, fuck it hurts. I also left my flipflops at buddha so I am walking round Bangkok barefoot, i look like such a tramp. So due to my foot i did the bare minimum of diving in the last 20 days, i dived a bit on it, but then it got infected and it hurt so i took a bit off then went back in the water, re-infecting it. One great day was when i was cleaning out all my wounds, and another diver quite kindly gave me her anti-septic cream to use while cleaning, which i used, and i wake up the next morning with the cut re-infected. Now what the fuck is that.

Also a story i've told everyone here in great detail is the story of the crazy baby lady. This is what i was writing about in the post that got deleted by the powercut so I'll tell it in less detail now, but it was stil really fucked up.

So let me set the scene its 9:00, I was really really hungover, i think it was just becasue me and colby were bored, but it wasn't a special night or anything, and i'm lying on the sofa watching tv in just my boxers. and the house was empty. I'd left all the doors and windows open to allow a draught through the house, so one could easily walk in and see me lying there in my near nakedness. So guess what, this woman with baby by herself walks in, asking for the key - Where i live there 3 houses, my house, Mark, the owners, and a third house round the corner - but in my drunken confusuion, I thought she meant my house. So I'm like, this house is full, you can't have a key. So after she describes the other house I see she has alot of shit and help her with bags as we move to the other house, turns out its open and shes more or less got me up for nothing, so I turn to leave, but she freaks out how filthy the house is and refusing to take a baby into it. I could hardly understand her germanic shrieks but she then follows me into my house and is demanding to use my phone and call mark. I happily didn't have his number or any credit so it made it even funnier on my part. So after seeing his wife she calls in a cleaning crew and she refuses to move in still. By this point she has unpacked her travel baby bed and put the baby to sleep. Colby has preceded to come home, followed by dave who both are like what the fuck, who the hell let a baby into my house. And before any of you say it was my fault, she stormed in I was too hungover to do anything. So anyway, it was daves last meal and we were cooking on the bbq and getting nicely drunk when mark finally gets home at like 10:30, so were sort of freaked out now as she has moved the baby upstairs and we ask him to move her, so he really calmly tells her that the house is clean and this house is full and she has to move and she just flips, and goes mental, completly swearing the hell out of the situation and refusing to move. It was fucking awful. she eventually moved and we were left in peace.

In other news Bas came back and we got drunk, good padi proffesional relationship.

See you all in 24 hours in Bangkok now and I'm bored.

Mucho lovo

Snorkel tests and 4 day binges....

Well in the week or so that it's been, or close to 2 yeah I know...I've not done much.

I finally got to my 60th dive, I got stung by a jellyfish on my 60th dive, I hated every second of my 60th dive. Oh yeah you need 60 dives tio sign off as a DM.

My parents gave me the ok to do my instructor course, so I'll go home earn the money and coma back out, shame i need to earn a shitload of cash. damn, I can't be fucked to go home, no offense, but honestly, island life here, or southampton, I think I prove my point very well, and I would be shot if I missed my sisters wedding. I mean that seriously, actually shot in the face.

Err, yeah on the injury update I crashed my bike again, not too badly, but it cut me a bit, i was sober so yeah, I don't drink drive. jellyfish. My knee still isn't great after the roof jump. Haha I had to go have a medical so padi can sign me off, and the doctor looks at my back, see's my fucked up shoulder blades, sees the scoliosis and makes me do a whole load of exercises, it was quite funny, a thai doctor with limited english and me standing there awkwardly. But yeah I passed ok, he just called me weird.

So the last 4 days have been a bit heavy, my housemate colby came back from his visa run and we went out to the drum and bass night at the castle, we stayed out til 3 then in the morning I got to Buddha with 5 mins before the morning boat left to go diving, skill or what? The next day was the DMT bbq, I helped set up I was drinking from 5 and we got quite quite drunk, there were some damn good ribs as swell from bas. Good old B. Day 3 was my snorkel test, which has been described for rohans one, mine seemed to be mostly Tabasco, and we all know how good I am with spice.....combined with the shots and the beers I drank with it, it was lovely, trust me Tabasco goes well with jager. And so day 4 was Bas's last day before he went away to Holland for a few days, so we went to the bar at 2 in the afternoon and drank till midnight. It has been a damn great few days.

Mucho Lovo.

OH MY GOD!

I complain that nothing has been happening, and I thought that nothing was happening.
And I would like to claim for the people who were doubting me and thought I didn't do the kayaking the pictures are now up on facebook so hahahahaha I am a fitness machine....

So yeah from that day we went out and got nicely drunk, so after 25km of kayaking I destroyed my liver. But more importantly Bas, one of the instructors, his wife was on a visa trip so we went to Lotus bar (and didn't fall off the ledge) but did have a great night. With bas an this group of Dutch people, who all had better english than me.

So its the next morning and Bas and me are chilling around Buddha and the group of dutch people come up and are like 'Hey Ben! You still gonna assist today'......................Yeah I had no memory of this, but thankfully they were equally hungover, and so was the other assistant instructor Graham, so I quite happily joined the group. While assisting, I fell asleep twice on the boat during the briefing, I was an amazing assistant. But if you thought that was good, the dive was even better, we were just chilling along, and this huge naked ugly woman came along underneath us, Graham started to retch underwater, thankfully he didn't throw up. I was so glad no one had a camera, I really don't ever want to relive that memory, ugh it was horrifying.

After all the diving was finished, we went to the bar and Rohan did his snorkel test, which is just as fun as it sounds, mask on so you can't breath through your nose, snorkel in, and a bucket of alcohol is poured down your snorkel. hahahahaha

As I'm staying for a bit longer I'll do mine later, but a couple of instructors have already told me there will be tequila and sambuca. Oh yay, I can't wait.........

Mucho Lovo

I'm not dead, just lazy.

Ok, its been a while, but, not much happened so I couldn't be arsed to type a boring post but! Something has finally happened.

Ok, First of all I can happily say I don't want to go to uni and I want to be a Dive instructor. Second, I have no money so I'll have to come home and earn the money anyway. 3rd? Where would you rather live? In Thailand chilling or in England in the fucking rain? Thought so.

Other than that we've had some good nights out. We went to the lady boy cabaret and they did this sister act song it was so funny. They then brought me up on stage and I sang with them. It was comedy gold.

More importantly, yesterday I paddled round Koh tao in a kayak, it was horrible, I'm ridiculously sun burnt, my whole body aches, I hate charity, oh yeah we did it for the animal clinic, damn dogs.

Hope I get well soon eh!

Mucho Lovo

Happy new year plus developments

Howdy y'all.

So life has been a great laugh since i last posted. We went to the castle party again, which while it wasn't as good as the last one, it was still pretty good, stumbled in at 3am and was nicely hungover when I woke up.

So yeah, the month rent ended for our room the day after the castle party, the problem? The Owner had my deposit and I wasn't exactly gonna move on without my 3000 bhat.
So we finally have it, and have moved to a new place with 2 of the guys from Buddha, we've only stayed one night so far but the fan is so strong it made me cold. finally.

So the reason the owner was away on the mainland? Thai new year aka song kran, ok, imagine it like this, you all have water pistols, and you all drink, all day, its honestly the greatest day of my life, blatently top 10. The locals go round in trucks just getting everyone wet. Throwing buckets of water. I got up at 7am, and continued to around 10pm when I collapsed in near exhaustion, it probably didn't help drinking started at 9am......

So yeah, aw we're moved further away from buddha i fianlly gave in and got a bike, 3 hours later I crashed my bike, but I'm not too upset, i've had some amazing nights so its all cool, just a couple more days out of the water, good old laugh for me.

Mucho Lovo

Mildly late......with hose info

Sorry, should have bothered to use the internet but nothing special has happened.
We have had more exams, ironically, the one i failed was on on Dive Master conduct, so yeah, no real surprise there. but other than that, passed all the really easy ones, deco theory and physiology all the basic ones.

The diving's been good, the water was 32 degrees today so you come out of the water ridiculously thirsty as you just sweat constantly. Thankfully team japan bring an ice bucket so they keep my chang/gin/samsung cold. Good old japanese.

Err, also if no one knew already, in thailand you cant put toilet roll down the toilet so instead of wiping, they give you a high pressure hose to spray with, but as ever not all hoses are the same, some are nice and gentle which don't clean anything, or you get the extremely painful ones which keep everything super clean. Life is fun.

Other than that, not much happening, castle party in 2 days and Son-Kran which is the thai new year water festival. should be a damn good laugh.

Mucho lovo

Back in the water.

Finally, its taken 8 days, but 2 days ago I finally got the ok to go diving again. It took its damn time. Trust me, the jump off the boat for the first time in over a week was amazing, oh, that was the best feeling I've ever had. I assisted some first time divers into their fun time of not doing much, I honestly just hovered around making sure they didn't bolt to the surface and kill themselves. So yeah it was the most strenuous dive of my life. Luckily they didn't do anything and i got to have a dive out of it, and they were newbish enough to do mistakes which leads to tiger fines, with the invented 'beer fine' sign underwater. Its quite a good life.

So yesterday was rohan's birthday, we did our best and stayed out til the early hours of the morning, it was a great night, it was the monthly drum and bass night at the club just across from our room, it was epic, it was so so so good. We were just dancing for hours. And I got free beers because one of the guys we met knew the barmaid.

So after getting in at god knows what time, we had to be up early for the physics lecture, so I stumbled in, and got 80% on the physics test, oh yes, go me. I'm not gonna lie, but I never got that high in school.

All in all, its been a damn good couple of days

Mucho lovo

Injuries of sorts.

So while I haven't been diving I'll explain to you the multitude of injuires which have been gained through the adventures of myself.

So from the the fall out of the chang night which I have a really good memory of the whole night until one point, this was when I stepped off the dance floor in Lotus and fell about a metre and a half onto my back, from that point of the night, my day does become a little sketchy.... So yeah I think I might have had a mild concussion, seeing as I can remember the whole night before hand..... BUT importantly, my wound? A long scratch from my ass cheek to my lower back. Skillful eh?

Both my knees are cut up, with my right one severly worse than the left, again, i was extremly sober so I have no idea how I did it, but yeah that one I am not too proud of, like sunburn, it just hurts when ever I move my knees.

On my right ankle is a burn from a motorbike exhaust, fitting three of us on a bike while there are only foot rests for 2 doesn't really put things in our favour, ever.

There are a multitude of scratches and cuts on my toes, before I bought new flip-flops, they were so broken they would catch on the floor making me scratch my toes, it was a fucking bother, so yeah half of my toes are fucked.

Oh and there is still my ankle which is buggered still, probably won't dive for another couple days.

Mucho Loveo

Chang-over

Howdy y'all.

So yeah last night was a friends birthday, so we did what we did best and drink. Chang is the local beer and is very very cheap. They recycle the bottles and wash them all out with pure ethanol....but then don't wash the ethanol out properly, which could make the beer, which is stated to be 6.4%, anything between 6.4% to 15%, no two bottles ever taste the same, its actually legendary. So yeah, we had a few and I woke up today with a splitting headache, sunglasses were worn all morning. Ugh I felt rough.

Other than that not much has happened, although we did have some rain. Its now sunny again and around the high 30's

Mucho Loveo

Grrrr....

So yeah, its been four days since I cut my ankle on the wreck and it still hurts like shit.....Today it still really hurt, so I went to the local doctor, the response? Its clean and deep, don't dive for another 5 days.....AT LEAST.....

So surprisingly I'm pissed off. I've already done all my boat-masters, only got one shop-master left, so what the hell do i fucking do for 4 days.....'AT LEAST'......

So if you haven't guessed, I'm pissed off. really fucking pissed off. (Also whoever anomalously commented that I'll keep my language down can fuck off)

So hm, life is shitting on paradise island at the moment.

Mucho Loveo

Actually fucked up...

So yeah, its been a dive less few days, well 2, but tomorrow i won't dive either and generally depending on my own health it will depend, the reason for my dive less fun? Wreck diving. well yeah, there is this wreck of a dive boat in one of the many bays, its about 20m down and isn't all that special, except for the mass of nothingness around it, its not like an aircraft carrier or anything, its a boring ass dive boat. So you swim over to it, descend as per usual, and then swim around it, and if you have big cahones like myself you swim through it, and you have the skill to cut your ankle quite deep on the metal like myself, as you swim out..... Go me..... So yeah, I skillfully cut my ankle about a millimetre above where my fins are, so every fin kick only goes and rubs, its wonderful.
So I thought not much of it, its in saltwater i assumed, I'll be a man and continue to dive tomorrow! Alas no, I passed the skills circuit where you do all the boring skills such as mask off and whatnot to show you can help on an open water course, but thankfully even with the small amount of kicking it hurt a lot, so yeah, doc's orders are to spend time out of the water and help in the dive centre. Its so fun. although I have read a shitload of my book, 700 pages in to outlaws of the marsh, shame i still have another 1300 to go....
So yeah my ankle hurts like hell, walking hurts, and if you lucky readers remember i live a good 15 mins from the centre.
Other news? decided I love wreck diving, its for me, hands down, even with a mild scratch i wanna see more.
Other than that not much has been done, got drunk, slept, ate, nothing going on really, went to a bbq yesterday, got the last ribs and bit of chicken, so yeah life has been healthy.
Tonight we're going for a curry, so yeah, lots of coconut milk in mine as a man i just love my spice......

Mucho loveo

My actual day to day routine....

I realised today i haven't actually told you about island life so far. Well, the room me and rowan are staying in isn't too bad, flushing toilet and 2 king size mattresses, no hot water but to be honest, in 35 degree heat its not too bad. Comically, opposite our room is a hooker bar call 'Friend bar' oh and yes, they holler at us every night and morning, its so wrong. We have about a 15 min walk to the dive centre every morning/night, which does wake you up when the morning fun dives are at 7.20 am. After diving or like today i chose a lie in, its lunch, which is usually cheap noodles, before going diving again in the afternoon, today I'm fun diving in the afternoon so I just get to dive whenever I like, its pretty sweet.

The Koh Tao Festival was a good laugh, they were selling these litre jugs, so after finishing it, it was kept, so that's an epic little momento i now have. It was shame that all the music they played was local Thai music, which funnily enough didn't really get me up for dancing. After a great stumble home which took us 45 mins, we then had a great 4 hours sleep before we were up for diving.....so yeah, island life is pretty sweet.

Mucho loveo

Life is gooooooooood..

So i have enjoyed not having to rush over the last few days, I started my dive master with my first 2 sessions not diving, I took control of the dive boat and slept. a lot.
Today we assisted with the advanced open water course, it was pretty easy, just sat around underwater watching people breath. yes, that's all i did this morning.
This afternoon is the 'Save Koh Tao' festival, its pretty basic, just some Eco awareness an whatnot, with beer.
Not much else has been happening, I'm taking it pretty easy, well tbh can really be arsed to rush, that's just not me, rushing takes effort. ha.

Hope all is well in the warm sunny British isles ha.

Ok, I apologise,

I'll admit, this has been too long, I tried to keep it constant but the 3 courses I had to take were pretty epic.

Anyway, I have now finished my Advanced, EFR, and Rescue diver courses..... So yeah, I'm a fucking DMT (Dive master training). Finally. I'm exhausted, tired, alcohol deprived (knowingly i write this on st paddy's day and trust me it's just a stop before the 'night')

Anyway, with reports of sharks and turtles I've been busy with the courses assigned, so yeah I'd get back on the boat and everyone would be raving about the sea snake/turtle/shark they saw, me? Yeah, I learnt how to save a drowning person... bitter much, yeah just a bit.....

Koh Tao is lovely, I won't lie, most likely will borrow a scooter for a couple days, see the rest of the island, and chill.... but yeah, all is good. got m y first boat master tomorrow so I will sleep off tonight AND work towards my DM, efficient am I.

Mucho loveo

Ben
x

After 48 hours travelling......

So yeah, it was fun, but we made it, after a few hours in a insanely air conditioned bus we got the Koh Tao.
So lets me get you up to speed. The flight had all you can drink beer, and I mean just ask and you shall receive beer, it was epic, so after a few Grolsch I fell straight to sleep, I did have time to watch the Oscar winning 'The Blind Side' Which easily killed 2 and a half hours.

So we land in the 'kok around 4:30 local time, and we get a bus to the centre. where we book our travel to KT, unfortunatly we have to wait for about 90 mins so we walked around the market street of Khoa San, which if I could liken to anything imagine a London market but instead of apples and bananas its mangos and watermelons.

We got quite lazy and just sat at a bar for a good 40 mins..........

And then we got this horrible ass coach to southern Thailand to the ferry terminal, it was stupidly Air-Conditioned and instead of making you cool, you were freezing cold, at one point I started to shiver....yeah I can admit it, i'm a man.....

Bus to catamaran, catamaran to pick up truck, truck to dive site. THANK GOD. I'm no gonna lie, 48hrs of disjointed sleep is hell, and I finally had my 8 hours.

Hope all is well
Ben.

20.5 hours away..,..

OK, I'm not one for lying on my blog, so, I'm nicely drunk, thanks to a Chris Mulloy, but, no offence to anyone; and this blog is going to a wide audience, I'll try to keep it to a PG12(haha)

So it's 19 hours til' lift off, I've had a good day with friends and family, but i won't lie, drunk packing does help A LOT! As a man I automatically awful at most things; packing being one, but! Thanks to a quick couple pints at my go-away lunch I've suddenly prepared myself.... I needed a quick call to Rohan (that is rowan Hermes for those not used to the nick-name) to quick check what i needed but thankfully we were both on the same page....

So comes tomorrow, I have to cut my hair (HORROR!?!?!?!?) get some cash, some ear-plugs ( cos Rohan snores) and general bits and bobs....

Mucho Lovo
Ben

Welcome/intro

Hey all,
Thought i should put someway of letting people see what i get up to on my travels, so here comes a blog, I'll try to update it regularly and with good posts but I'm not the most determined so i apologise in advance if i get a bit lackluster.
Anyway, its the Saturday before I go, 57 hours until the plane to Bangkok, it should be a laugh, 2 months in Thailand, 1 month in Australia and 2 and a bit weeks in new Zealand.
I'll be with rohan for the first two months, and joined with tom at some point in Aussie land, where we'll have hilarious adventures where we generally will stay sober and out of trouble hahahahahaha.
I'll start posting properly once I'm in the 'kok.
Mucho Lovo
Ben