The final countdown.

I would like to say sorry for not posting for a while, but i wrote a whole post a week ago and there was a powercut so i lost the whole thing and it had taken me 40 mins, I was quite pissed off...

So the mild bike crash i commented on has become a bit worse, I think i have broken my toe so I am looking forward to that, especially the x ray, fuck it hurts. I also left my flipflops at buddha so I am walking round Bangkok barefoot, i look like such a tramp. So due to my foot i did the bare minimum of diving in the last 20 days, i dived a bit on it, but then it got infected and it hurt so i took a bit off then went back in the water, re-infecting it. One great day was when i was cleaning out all my wounds, and another diver quite kindly gave me her anti-septic cream to use while cleaning, which i used, and i wake up the next morning with the cut re-infected. Now what the fuck is that.

Also a story i've told everyone here in great detail is the story of the crazy baby lady. This is what i was writing about in the post that got deleted by the powercut so I'll tell it in less detail now, but it was stil really fucked up.

So let me set the scene its 9:00, I was really really hungover, i think it was just becasue me and colby were bored, but it wasn't a special night or anything, and i'm lying on the sofa watching tv in just my boxers. and the house was empty. I'd left all the doors and windows open to allow a draught through the house, so one could easily walk in and see me lying there in my near nakedness. So guess what, this woman with baby by herself walks in, asking for the key - Where i live there 3 houses, my house, Mark, the owners, and a third house round the corner - but in my drunken confusuion, I thought she meant my house. So I'm like, this house is full, you can't have a key. So after she describes the other house I see she has alot of shit and help her with bags as we move to the other house, turns out its open and shes more or less got me up for nothing, so I turn to leave, but she freaks out how filthy the house is and refusing to take a baby into it. I could hardly understand her germanic shrieks but she then follows me into my house and is demanding to use my phone and call mark. I happily didn't have his number or any credit so it made it even funnier on my part. So after seeing his wife she calls in a cleaning crew and she refuses to move in still. By this point she has unpacked her travel baby bed and put the baby to sleep. Colby has preceded to come home, followed by dave who both are like what the fuck, who the hell let a baby into my house. And before any of you say it was my fault, she stormed in I was too hungover to do anything. So anyway, it was daves last meal and we were cooking on the bbq and getting nicely drunk when mark finally gets home at like 10:30, so were sort of freaked out now as she has moved the baby upstairs and we ask him to move her, so he really calmly tells her that the house is clean and this house is full and she has to move and she just flips, and goes mental, completly swearing the hell out of the situation and refusing to move. It was fucking awful. she eventually moved and we were left in peace.

In other news Bas came back and we got drunk, good padi proffesional relationship.

See you all in 24 hours in Bangkok now and I'm bored.

Mucho lovo

Snorkel tests and 4 day binges....

Well in the week or so that it's been, or close to 2 yeah I know...I've not done much.

I finally got to my 60th dive, I got stung by a jellyfish on my 60th dive, I hated every second of my 60th dive. Oh yeah you need 60 dives tio sign off as a DM.

My parents gave me the ok to do my instructor course, so I'll go home earn the money and coma back out, shame i need to earn a shitload of cash. damn, I can't be fucked to go home, no offense, but honestly, island life here, or southampton, I think I prove my point very well, and I would be shot if I missed my sisters wedding. I mean that seriously, actually shot in the face.

Err, yeah on the injury update I crashed my bike again, not too badly, but it cut me a bit, i was sober so yeah, I don't drink drive. jellyfish. My knee still isn't great after the roof jump. Haha I had to go have a medical so padi can sign me off, and the doctor looks at my back, see's my fucked up shoulder blades, sees the scoliosis and makes me do a whole load of exercises, it was quite funny, a thai doctor with limited english and me standing there awkwardly. But yeah I passed ok, he just called me weird.

So the last 4 days have been a bit heavy, my housemate colby came back from his visa run and we went out to the drum and bass night at the castle, we stayed out til 3 then in the morning I got to Buddha with 5 mins before the morning boat left to go diving, skill or what? The next day was the DMT bbq, I helped set up I was drinking from 5 and we got quite quite drunk, there were some damn good ribs as swell from bas. Good old B. Day 3 was my snorkel test, which has been described for rohans one, mine seemed to be mostly Tabasco, and we all know how good I am with spice.....combined with the shots and the beers I drank with it, it was lovely, trust me Tabasco goes well with jager. And so day 4 was Bas's last day before he went away to Holland for a few days, so we went to the bar at 2 in the afternoon and drank till midnight. It has been a damn great few days.

Mucho Lovo.

OH MY GOD!

I complain that nothing has been happening, and I thought that nothing was happening.
And I would like to claim for the people who were doubting me and thought I didn't do the kayaking the pictures are now up on facebook so hahahahaha I am a fitness machine....

So yeah from that day we went out and got nicely drunk, so after 25km of kayaking I destroyed my liver. But more importantly Bas, one of the instructors, his wife was on a visa trip so we went to Lotus bar (and didn't fall off the ledge) but did have a great night. With bas an this group of Dutch people, who all had better english than me.

So its the next morning and Bas and me are chilling around Buddha and the group of dutch people come up and are like 'Hey Ben! You still gonna assist today'......................Yeah I had no memory of this, but thankfully they were equally hungover, and so was the other assistant instructor Graham, so I quite happily joined the group. While assisting, I fell asleep twice on the boat during the briefing, I was an amazing assistant. But if you thought that was good, the dive was even better, we were just chilling along, and this huge naked ugly woman came along underneath us, Graham started to retch underwater, thankfully he didn't throw up. I was so glad no one had a camera, I really don't ever want to relive that memory, ugh it was horrifying.

After all the diving was finished, we went to the bar and Rohan did his snorkel test, which is just as fun as it sounds, mask on so you can't breath through your nose, snorkel in, and a bucket of alcohol is poured down your snorkel. hahahahaha

As I'm staying for a bit longer I'll do mine later, but a couple of instructors have already told me there will be tequila and sambuca. Oh yay, I can't wait.........

Mucho Lovo

I'm not dead, just lazy.

Ok, its been a while, but, not much happened so I couldn't be arsed to type a boring post but! Something has finally happened.

Ok, First of all I can happily say I don't want to go to uni and I want to be a Dive instructor. Second, I have no money so I'll have to come home and earn the money anyway. 3rd? Where would you rather live? In Thailand chilling or in England in the fucking rain? Thought so.

Other than that we've had some good nights out. We went to the lady boy cabaret and they did this sister act song it was so funny. They then brought me up on stage and I sang with them. It was comedy gold.

More importantly, yesterday I paddled round Koh tao in a kayak, it was horrible, I'm ridiculously sun burnt, my whole body aches, I hate charity, oh yeah we did it for the animal clinic, damn dogs.

Hope I get well soon eh!

Mucho Lovo

Happy new year plus developments

Howdy y'all.

So life has been a great laugh since i last posted. We went to the castle party again, which while it wasn't as good as the last one, it was still pretty good, stumbled in at 3am and was nicely hungover when I woke up.

So yeah, the month rent ended for our room the day after the castle party, the problem? The Owner had my deposit and I wasn't exactly gonna move on without my 3000 bhat.
So we finally have it, and have moved to a new place with 2 of the guys from Buddha, we've only stayed one night so far but the fan is so strong it made me cold. finally.

So the reason the owner was away on the mainland? Thai new year aka song kran, ok, imagine it like this, you all have water pistols, and you all drink, all day, its honestly the greatest day of my life, blatently top 10. The locals go round in trucks just getting everyone wet. Throwing buckets of water. I got up at 7am, and continued to around 10pm when I collapsed in near exhaustion, it probably didn't help drinking started at 9am......

So yeah, aw we're moved further away from buddha i fianlly gave in and got a bike, 3 hours later I crashed my bike, but I'm not too upset, i've had some amazing nights so its all cool, just a couple more days out of the water, good old laugh for me.

Mucho Lovo

Mildly late......with hose info

Sorry, should have bothered to use the internet but nothing special has happened.
We have had more exams, ironically, the one i failed was on on Dive Master conduct, so yeah, no real surprise there. but other than that, passed all the really easy ones, deco theory and physiology all the basic ones.

The diving's been good, the water was 32 degrees today so you come out of the water ridiculously thirsty as you just sweat constantly. Thankfully team japan bring an ice bucket so they keep my chang/gin/samsung cold. Good old japanese.

Err, also if no one knew already, in thailand you cant put toilet roll down the toilet so instead of wiping, they give you a high pressure hose to spray with, but as ever not all hoses are the same, some are nice and gentle which don't clean anything, or you get the extremely painful ones which keep everything super clean. Life is fun.

Other than that, not much happening, castle party in 2 days and Son-Kran which is the thai new year water festival. should be a damn good laugh.

Mucho lovo

Back in the water.

Finally, its taken 8 days, but 2 days ago I finally got the ok to go diving again. It took its damn time. Trust me, the jump off the boat for the first time in over a week was amazing, oh, that was the best feeling I've ever had. I assisted some first time divers into their fun time of not doing much, I honestly just hovered around making sure they didn't bolt to the surface and kill themselves. So yeah it was the most strenuous dive of my life. Luckily they didn't do anything and i got to have a dive out of it, and they were newbish enough to do mistakes which leads to tiger fines, with the invented 'beer fine' sign underwater. Its quite a good life.

So yesterday was rohan's birthday, we did our best and stayed out til the early hours of the morning, it was a great night, it was the monthly drum and bass night at the club just across from our room, it was epic, it was so so so good. We were just dancing for hours. And I got free beers because one of the guys we met knew the barmaid.

So after getting in at god knows what time, we had to be up early for the physics lecture, so I stumbled in, and got 80% on the physics test, oh yes, go me. I'm not gonna lie, but I never got that high in school.

All in all, its been a damn good couple of days

Mucho lovo